MORE THAN UPSETTING-ACTUALLY PAINFUL

Living in the world as an introvert, Kathy, might have experienced life’s events as more stressful and outside her  control.  In the U of P study that I mentioned earlier, the mice that were deemed less able to manage stress were more passive and withdrawn. Kathy and Andrew went about meeting their needs quietly and often alone. They managed their spaces to reduce stress by minimizing change.

       Andrew, I know felt better when  I left his room as is. As I mentioned before, when my oldest daughter got married at our home, I wanted to spruce up his room a little and he was very resistant, saying to me, “Mom, it is fine the way it is-please don’t change anything”. I did manage to talk him into a new duvet and shams, which after they were in place he liked. I believe it is the uncertainty of how the change would affect him that was so daunting. Once he was able to see that the change made for a nicer environment for him, he was always fine with it. 

      I tried to be careful with change though for I knew how upsetting the process was for him. I did not really understand then that it was probably more than upsetting, actually painful.