CAUSE OR BLAME

 In reading and hearing about the last incident where the father shoots his son in self-defense my heart broke for the whole family. After Andrews’s suicide, we were all besieged with what ifs. 

 I guess all disease is a family disorder and certainly all deaths.

My children often disapprove when I assume responsibility for collaborating with Andrew in his illness and death. They say things like “Mom, you can’t blame yourself”.  I counter with, “there is a difference between cause and blame."

         I make this distinction because to me blame requires a conscious intention to do harm. I do not feel blame for Andrew’s death.  I do not know what caused Andrew’s disease and death but I do believe that the family that we were played into the dynamics of Andrew’s life and death both consciously and unconsciously.