UNBEARABLE ANXIETY

The years that followed were for John, Andrew and me, full of almost unbearable anxiety that would be present until Andrew died. I was constantly waiting for the next call. He was so sick and suffered so much. 

This led to an almost constant effort at self-medication on top of struggling with us about whether or not to take his prescribed medicines. He complained of side effects, but as I mentioned before, what really seemed to upset him was the whole idea of being sick and needing to take medication.

It was very hard for me to leave Andrew with the sole discretion about whether he took his meds or not. John felt that Andrew needed to take responsibility for his illness. I agreed but could not bear the after effects of him either not taking his meds and/or self-medicating