AT HOME IN MY BODY

     How does the body heal? While I sometimes feel anguish in my body as aches or pains, usually it is more allusive. Like right now, I have a pain in my left arm and an off and on tightness in my chest. Just how is the body/mind complex working in me?      
     How much of what I am experiencing is the result of habits learned and refined over a lifetime of living and defending myself against real and perceived threats? How much of it is aging –a body that is less able to withstand the chronic stress and punishment that my coping mechanisms require?

      How much is directly the result of Andrew’s life, his suffering, his death. The knowledge that I will never see him again and all that will never be; these things that I am often not conscious of but of course my body is always unconsciously dealing with and trying to keep me well. 

     Is my main physical thrust healing, growing,surviving or being overwhelmed or transcending ? I cannot even tell you that.