ANXIETY MANAGEMENT

Now I was home and pregnant and began redecorating our house. While our situation had improved, we still had only a small amount of discretionary funds. That meant doing almost everything myself. I started with the dining room. Since we had been in our house for over a year, I had some sense I of how I wanted to proceed. The processes of planning and shopping for wallpaper, paint, and fabric took all of my energy.

 As for scraping wallpaper. I did somehow find the money to have the dining room professionally done ($40) because my memory of the speed and efficiency of my wallpaper removal efforts in our Baltimore house were so painfully slow that I could not stand the thought of doing that to myself again. However, once I saw the professionals at work I realized it is all in the know-how. They simply brought our garden hose through the dining room window and connected it to a special nozzle that produced a very fine spray. From there they heavily dampened the paper in the room a section at a time and seemed to effortlessly scrape it off in long sheets.

That was for the paper above the chair rail and the ceiling. They asked me if I wanted them to remove the paper below the rail. I was unaware that this area was papered. I said,” how much?” and when they answered five dollars, thinking I heard a real bargain, said “go for it”. I then watched in disbelief as they removed the remaining paper in one sheet taking less than a minute. Turns out there is something called fabric-backed paper that comes off without scraping.

Looks like I have gotten off the topic again. I thought the words were coming a little easier. Having seen these pros in action I was comfortable moving ahead with taking the wallpaper off my three-story staircase and connecting hallways. I also wanted crown molding put up and somehow figured out the angles and with Johns help at sawing and nailing, we got it up. Next, I painted the hallway, all three stories and then hung the new wallpaper in the dining room, and made drapes, which we hung when I was nine months pregnant with Lou. This mania would persist, with little abatement for the next 30 plus years.

Rereading these last couple of paragraphs, I realize now, 31 years after the fact, that getting help with the wallpaper, and learning about new tools and methods was actually a precursor to my very serious interest in trying to better understand anxiety and the tools and knowledge required to master anxiety management. I can remember standing in our sunroom and looking out the window, and saying to myself, there has to be a better way to live, one can simply not be anxious all the time, it is not healthy.