TRUE SCHIZOPHRENIA

The specialist said that although Andrew was misdiagnosed as bi-polar with schizoid affect, he had been given the correct treatment. 

It was then that we learned that the differential diagnosis is determined by the chronicity of the delusions. Bi-polar disease is episodic, true schizophrenia is constant and unrelenting without medication. 

Some sufferers do not get complete relief even with treatment. Andrew was one of these.

THE VOICES

Again, Andrew told me, “Mom, you just do not get it. These voices are real”. 

He still had not been given the diagnosis of schizophrenia. This would come less than a year before he died. A specialist in the medicinal treatment of delusions at HUP saw him and said Andrew was most definitely schizophrenic. 

This specialist said Andrew had been misdiagnosed as bi-polar when he had his first psychotic break after entering the Citadel in 1999.

I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN

Instead of trying to understand, resonate, and maybe somehow relieve Andrew’s pain, I was pushing him to conquer the voices. 

I had read I Never Promised You a Rose Garden and felt that it was possible to give up the voices. This is what the patient/heroine had done in this case history of the successful psychoanalytical treatment of a young female schizophrenic in the time before antipsychotic medication. 

Reading this book had given me much hope.

ANDREW'S NOTE

Well, lets take little time to rest on Sunday. Everybody needs some rest even John Andrew Gillis. Amen. I am relaxing for the rest of the day. Okay. Just keep on trucking. I drive a Hyundai Sonata. 

May 28, 2009. My heart, my fear, my love, my mind will be free forever.

          Okay, I will be wiser and stronger each day of my journey, Is it crazy to follow your dreams, maybe, food and drink is awesome.  Passion, I don’t get it. But that is how it is. Freedom. Who? USA, that bad, that good. We will whe the Back th straight up. Eas does it okay. He is the best. Believe he would not be where he is unless he earned.  JAG. Mr. President. 

     The best obviously he is older and wiser. Those are the facts. I do it all for  love and peace and oh yeah honor!

Well deserved break. Thank you and good night. I love you all. Peace. 

TERRIBLE VOICES

During this time, Andrew had terrible “voices”. Some days the voices would be worse than others and in the end, they would become unrelenting. 

What would I have done to get him some relief ? He needed a rest, as he would tell us in his final note.

SIX MONTHS BEFORE HE DIED

I had spoken with John about Andrew moving back in with us. 

We both felt that it would be better for all if he did not. Before I spoke to Andrew, I asked Eileen what she thought of Andrew living with her and Rich. 

They had bought a home that had a big finished recreation room with its own bath—no outside entrance. She thought it would be fine. They could charge him rent and that would help them pay for some improvements they were trying to make to the house. 

So Andrew moved in with them about six months before he died. 

REHAB

Looking back it seems that some of the time after Andrew began rehab was very good. Some was okay and some time was not good at all.

In the beginning when he was taking only his prescribed medications, he was definitely feeling better. He was able to organize himself to get the kind of job he felt good about. He joined the firm where Eileen worked, although they worked in different locations.

I wanted him to go back to school but he was already aware that he could not be successful at that.  During this time he and Melissa became engaged and bought a house and became unengaged and sold their house and Andrew moved in with Rich and Eileen.